"You can stand still in the current of a river, but not in the world of men" (Japanese proverb)

If you have chosen to separate, you will need a lawyer but not as much as you think. My legal training can save you a lot of inconvenience and the psychological, physical and financial impact of an overly contentious separation. Let's try to resolve this conflict together in an amicable way, for your good and that of your children.
You know how to calculate: if your divorce is contentious, you will need two lawyers, each of whom will pay a high price, for a time that you will no longer be able to control, in order to arrive at a solution, a judgement, which you will not have chosen: it is the judge who will decide.

In mediation, you are the actors of your agreement and you can draw up a transaction which will have the value of a judgement. 

Family mediation is a profession at the service of families and individuals with a view to restoring or preserving family ties and/or preventing the consequences of a possible dissociation of the family group, deconstructing, building or rebuilding any family relationship.

It is based on the voluntary commitment of the people who request it in order to respond to the adjustments to daily life that they consider necessary but for which the methods of elaboration remain difficult.
Initially proposed to parents wishing to maintain their parental roles after separation, family mediation is now addressed to the family in its diversity: parents, children, grandparents, siblings, blended families, family businesses... concerning a questioning that no one finds the answer to, a separation or a break-up, inheritance, the care of an elderly and/or dependent person...
The family mediator, an independent, multi-partial, non-judgmental third party, offers, during confidential interviews, a transitional space for dialogue, listening, mutual respect and consultation. Family mediation is a way for everyone to be involved in the decisions that will be taken, to know their rights, duties and responsibilities, in order to work out together solutions and agreements that meet the needs of the family.
Family mediation is part of an inter-professional concern to support and accompany parenthood, particularly with regard to the child's maintenance of relations with both parents, after their separation.

The family mediator accompanies the family in moments of exacerbated conflict, to re-establish a dialogue, to find acceptable agreements, taking into account the interests of each -- parents and children. When family conflicts invade the whole family, parents, children and close relatives, the necessary distance to fulfil the different family roles may be inaccessible. It then becomes difficult to reconcile the emotional, psychological and economic needs of everyone. As a third party, neutral because he/she is not involved in the conflict, the family mediator opens a space for distance, which facilitates a common reflection on the elaboration of new modalities of a changing family organisation.
Through his or her training and experience, he or she is the guarantor of the protective framework of family mediation. Throughout the mediation process, he/she is attentive to the fact that everyone participates voluntarily and freely in the process and makes sure that the decisions that are taken are made without underlying reservations or hidden disagreements. The family mediator may have to stop a family mediation process if the protagonists do not or no longer respect the ethics (legal proceedings in progress, permanent aggressiveness, erasure of the other, etc.).

Conflict is generally what brings people to family mediation. It is the reflection of the emergence of new interests that people express through positions (I refuse that, I want that etc.) If these positions serve a priori the best interests of the person who expresses them, they hide fears, needs and desires, which are difficult to express. A large part of the family mediation process will be devoted to deciphering these positions.

• find-create together a space for communication
• encourage the development of agreements adapted to the needs of each individual
• developing parental collaboration for the future: co-parenting
• prevent family dysfunction
• enable better family communication

At the end of the mediation process, the decisions taken may be recorded in a memorandum of understanding or may remain oral. This will depend on the choices made by the protagonists. If this protocol or agreement is drafted with a view to homologation by the Judge in Family Affairs, it must however be written and co-signed by the mediated parties. Note: this application for homologation by the judge can be made outside of any proceedings (main source: wikipedia)

If you have chosen to separate, you will need a lawyer but not as much as you think. My legal training can save you a lot of inconvenience and the psychological, physical and financial impact of an overly contentious separation.

Let's try to resolve this conflict amicably together, for your good and that of your children.
You know how to calculate: if your divorce is contentious, you will need two lawyers, each of whom will pay a high price, for a time that you will no longer be able to control, in order to arrive at a solution, a judgement, which you will not have chosen: it is the judge who will decide.
In mediation, you are the actors of your agreement and you can draw up a transaction that will have the value of a judgment.

In law, a transaction is a contract, which must be drawn up in writing, concluded between two or more persons to end a dispute or a litigation that has arisen, or to avoid a dispute that may arise. Obviously, reciprocal concessions must be negotiated. Governed by Articles 2044 to 2058 of the Civil Code, a settlement is one of the alternative methods of resolving disputes in civil proceedings. Such a contract may be concluded outside or during the course of proceedings and produces effects comparable to those of a court decision, hence its primary interest.

What does this mean? It means that you and your ex-partner can draw up a contract in the form of a transaction, in the framework of mediation to avoid rekindling the conflict, which will include all your agreements on the custody of the children, the division of property, etc., all without a lawyer and without the help of a judge. This pre-drafted agreement can then be submitted to a lawyer who will put it into legal form, as the mediator cannot do this deontologically. You can then have this agreement approved by a judge, without needing a lawyer at this stage of the procedure. You always have the option of being represented if you wish.

The settlement has the authority of "res judicata" between the parties, i.e. it cannot be appealed against and extinguishes the proceedings (if you are in court) in progress. The "res judicata" attached to the transaction is limited to the subject matter of the contract of course.
Its enforceability is limited to the binding effect of contracts (a bailiff can be delegated to enforce the settlement). The parties may choose to have a judge "homologate the settlement" to give enforceability to the contract, whether it is a settlement reached in the context of a lawsuit, or an out-of-court settlement (such as mediation).